Jane asked her husband for an hour of his time to go over the home finances. Her husband got totally defensive, and started to ask questions like a lawyer. The fact was that her husband had never been good with money. He knew that Jane was going to attempt to bring him to reality and he totally wanted to avoid this conversation.

Verbally he said, “yeah lets do it, I am open to the conversation” But in reality his gaurds were already up.

He knew he was 5 figures in credit card debt for a long time, and now this had become his new normal. Jane has a way of showing the same fact in a different light. The light of reality, the light of PLEASE WAKE UP. and that light was something he was unprepared and scared of.

People will often become really defensive if we show them that they are unproductive at work, or their methods are not showing the right results, or they simply are in bad shape. The have all kinds of stories that sometimes will bring them and you to tears on how much they go through to be perfect, and no one deserves to question their perfection.

Those are just stories, its called conformism (my favorite psychology concept)